Sunday, January 28, 2007

Hope, Grief, and a Child's Wisdom

First, the hope. I briefly spoke about the blank canvas in an earlier post. In the past few weeks I have struggled to fight back tears at the sense of being about 1" tall standing on the corner of a 4' by 4' blank canvas. I had no picture of what the future looks like and no idea which way to turn. Now I am wondering if it is possible that the canvas had to be blank before we would or could think about possibilities that are far from anything we had imagined before the layoff? I don't want to say much, just that we are broadening our thinking some.

Second, the grief. We are beginning to do the things that must be done before we put our house on the market. It is likely that we would need to do this in the coming months even if G&T was still employed, but still it is sad. I love this house. I love the way we are when we are in it. Three comfortable cozy bears enjoying our life together. I have always wanted our home to be a refuge, and I didn't realize how much it has become that. I have to trust that we can recreate that wherever we wind up.

Words of Wisdom from a Child: This morning's children's message was about the importance of putting down good roots in scripture, worship, and prayer. One of the children commented that the roots of a plant allows it to grow both in the sunshine and in the cold. Deep thoughts for this mid-life rookie who seems to be trying to grow in the cold right now.

4 comments:

jnors93 said...

Remember that home is where your heart is. The 3 Bears is the same story, no matter the illustrator or publisher. Your story is the same, no matter what the wallpaper looks like. But, as our short person says, "change is hard!"

j

net said...

((((((Rookie))))))

Anonymous said...

I know change is hard. Being in the midst of change when the canvass is blank draws deep on your faith. Your roots do go deep and will continue to grow. No matter where your home is, you will find the same sanctuary from the world. It's the love and people that create the environment. That will move with you. The house is simply the box you keep it in. Hugs & Prayers - KitCat

revabi said...

Praying for you.
I remember selling our house, and how hard and what a change it was. I still dream about that house. But we would not have our three mouseketeers, if we had stayed.Prayers for all your changes. So much, so much.