Friday, December 30, 2011

Nearly New Year Friday Five

Over at RevGalBlogPals Sally asks us for two fives lists:
Five blessings from 2011
Five hopes for the New Year

This will be a great exercise for me as I've been struggling both with seeing the blessings through the fog and with looking forward to anything. See post below. But today is a day of hope, so here goes.

Blessings from 2011.
1. Manboy graduated from high school with many awards and honors. His was the first class to graduate from the new High School in town. The school focuses on project based learning and has a strong culture of community service. Each of the graduates wore TOMS shoes along with their cap and gown. The ceremony was awesome with slideshows and speakers that really let our family know what a unique opportunity this had been for him. Most of our family including Manboy's birthmother gathered for graduation. It was a blessing to have so many of them here at once.

2.Manboy went off to a college that supports the values established in his high school years and gives him many opportunities to explore the man God is leading him to be and the field of study he wants to pusue.

3. Watching my church move from survival mode to truly looking to the future and seeking to be in ministry. This has been such a blessing for me. God is doing great things through great people here.

4. The joy of participating in Elastigirl's ordination and hanging out with some of the RevGals just a few weeks ago.

5. My loving husband, Gifted and Talented who stands by me even when I can't see any of the blessings around me.

Hopes for 2012
1. The return of joy to my daily life rather than rare glimpses.

2. Joining my congregation in developing a long term vision and living out our mission.

3. BE 5.0 - Looking forward to fun on the high seas.

4. Making/Taking time with G&T for some re-creation.

5. Let's let this be a mystery and see what God has in store.

Woke Up Laughing

Wow, I haven't posted here in a loooooong time. But today I feel inspired. In fact, I feel joyful, which is a rare thing in the last few months. But today, I woke up dreaming I was laughing. I can't remember with whom or about what, I just know I was laughing in my dream. It was wonderful.

For the last few months, I've been working against what might be called "low grade depression." I believe most of it is situational - empty nest, job stress, son rolling his car on his way home from collge in October (he's fine), parishoners facing deep grief and serious illness, son having knee surgery for earlier injury, job stress, m-i-l diagnosed with colon tumor (probably not malignant, we'll know next week), job stress... Most mornings I wake up from an anxiety dream in which I'm stressing over one thing or another. The scenarios change, but the feeling is still the same. I'm seeing a counselor, but not often enough.

I have had glimpses of joy lately. My weekend with several of the RevGals surrounding the ordination of Elastigirl was the first time I had played in a long time. I was reminded of how much fun I had on BE 1.0 and began to look forward to BE 5.0 with a little more enthusiasm. Then life intervened and I fell back into the blues.

HOWEVER, this morning I awoke laughing (at least in my dream) and even praying a prayer of thankfulness for laughter in my dream. I am hopeful for today.

Lord, thank you for the gift of joy and hope and laughter. Let me fully immerse myself in your joy this day. Amen.