One of the advantages of G&T's unemployment is he's home a lot. One of the disadvantages of G&T's unemployment is he's home a lot. This evening I have a blessed 3 hours home alone while the boys are off at a church youth event. First, I read a few blogs. Next I had some quiet time of reading and reflection. While the meat thaws for the chili I'm going to cook, I'll fill you in on my reflections.
I was reading the last few chapters of Acts. Paul tells the story of his conversion again. I started thinking, "Why can't I have a big honkin' message from God right about now?" It would sure help to get a little scoop on what's coming. Maybe it's because I haven't slowed down and shut up long enough to hear anything. Now shutting up is easier said than done for me because I think in words, actually in paragraphs. So even when it's quiet and I have music with no lyrics playing in the earbuds (directly into my brain), I still have ongoing monologue in my head. Soooo, that's not working I'll try another tactic. I'll be Paul. This often works for me. Imagining myself in the story. While I don't often see pictures in my head, I can imagine being somewhere; what it feels and even looks like. Here's what happened:
I'm Paul, well really I'm me walking quickly and sternly along the road prepared to wipe out the bad guys (unemployment). I look stern. I walk with purpose. The people with me have to hustle to keep up. They don't quite understand my fierce determination, but they stick with me anyway. Then it happens. I'm knocked to the ground. Literally, I don't know what hit me but I know I'm on the ground, I can feel it under my elbow and my hip. It's hard. It hurts. All I can see is light. Not a light, but light - all around me. Not harsh or blinding, but beautiful, warm love. The light is between me and everything else. If I stood back up, I wouldn't know which way to step. Hey this is great, here comes the message _______________________________ Nothing. Light's still there, but no message, no voice. All I can do is lay on the ground surrounded by this wonderful light. Well perhaps this is where I need to stay for a while. Laying on the ground, not in the dark of despair and wondering, but in the warm light of faith. I still don't know anymore about what's coming, but somehow I'm in a better place.
Thank you Lord for your presence in my life, in this world. Amen