Wow, I haven't posted here in a loooooong time. But today I feel inspired. In fact, I feel joyful, which is a rare thing in the last few months. But today, I woke up dreaming I was laughing. I can't remember with whom or about what, I just know I was laughing in my dream. It was wonderful.
For the last few months, I've been working against what might be called "low grade depression." I believe most of it is situational - empty nest, job stress, son rolling his car on his way home from collge in October (he's fine), parishoners facing deep grief and serious illness, son having knee surgery for earlier injury, job stress, m-i-l diagnosed with colon tumor (probably not malignant, we'll know next week), job stress... Most mornings I wake up from an anxiety dream in which I'm stressing over one thing or another. The scenarios change, but the feeling is still the same. I'm seeing a counselor, but not often enough.
I have had glimpses of joy lately. My weekend with several of the RevGals surrounding the ordination of Elastigirl was the first time I had played in a long time. I was reminded of how much fun I had on BE 1.0 and began to look forward to BE 5.0 with a little more enthusiasm. Then life intervened and I fell back into the blues.
HOWEVER, this morning I awoke laughing (at least in my dream) and even praying a prayer of thankfulness for laughter in my dream. I am hopeful for today.
Lord, thank you for the gift of joy and hope and laughter. Let me fully immerse myself in your joy this day. Amen.
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