The following came in an email from a friend with whom I had shared my doubts and concerns. She felt compelled to send this message during her prayer time. I thank her for having the courage to share. I am listening Lord.
I have a message for you. It's from God.
He says he has put uncertainty and insecurity in your heart and mind for a reason. This is to allow you to let yourself grow (but not to grow too big for your britches) and learn the strategies of a chaplain. Realize you do not have all of the answers. He will give you the right words, when you need them. You are about to embark on a daily adventure of pain and suffering, beginnings and endings, healing and hurt...all of people you do not know and love (hopefully!). These are your patients.
The pain and suffering you are trying so hard to appease right now is in those you do know and love, your church family. Your clinical experience will not have the same psychological and emotional strings attached. Your patients will leave footprints on your heart, but will be with you physically for only a short time. You will have the opportunity to leave footprints behind for your patients and their families, as well.
Keep in mind that when you're seeing only 1 set of footprints, you are being carried.